et's try our hand at creating a custom
legend. I've outlined the steps that most people take. You are of course
free to add or revise the steps, but these seem to provide enough gobbledygook
to present the case in Usenet news.
tep One: Target
tep Two: Parallels
tep Three: Wordplay
Let us consider the example at hand. TEMPLAR and MARINE both have seven letters, except MARINE, which has only six. First, apply the code used by the brother-in-law of Abdullah al-Assam, the famous but little-known herb dealer who lived in Acre in 1234. In this code, always drop one letter from the first word (or add one, if necessary to make the numbers match). Thus you have TEMPLA and MARINE. Now, see that T and M are both consonants, E and A are vowels, and M and R again consonants, Thus, if you replace one with the another, TEM becomes MAR, and you're well under way. P and I are the tricky part, as they need to be exchanged consonant for vowels. P is the 16th letter of the alphabet, and I is the ninth letter and third vowel. Deduce seven (the magic number, remember?) from 16, and you're given the number nine, the number of I. Great - you now have MARI! The remaining LA to NE is easy, since LA is the sixth in the octave Do-Re-Mi-Fa-So-La-Si-Do, and NE is short for North-East, which is the sixth direction in the compass rose, if you start clockwise from S, which is almost the direction of Palestine as seen from France, the traditional headquarters of the Templars.
QED.
tep Four: Conjecture and
implications
tep Five: Sources and Publishing
Remember that the less chance there is for anyone to find the same sources ever, the better your chances of defending your fine theory. Make sure all sources are labeled "SECRET". Never ever use such a source that can be found in the library down the block. When you have your list of sources ready, it's time to fill the remaining 325 pages of your 345 page book with material of the type discussed in Step Four. It should not take you more than six months to do that, if you were any good at writing essays in school. Then, just find a publisher. Given the amount of utter bullshit published in hardcover these days, it should not prove too hard.
nd there you have it - the perfect
book that claims that US Marines are the current holders of the Treasure,
Organization, and Virtues of the Order of the Poor Knights of the Temple
of Solomon. Just give it a jazzy title, such as "From Acre to Iwo Jima -
a thousand years' quest for the perfect war machine", or something like that.
Be sure not to settle for anything less than 500,000 dollars in advance -
such money has been paid for people who drew lines on maps on Rennes-le Chateau
and found the side of a Provencal mountain with the lines.
h well. PT Barnum sure was right.
I'll be waiting to review your book in the Library soon.